MS-Earth

Is Microsoft the evil corporate empire that so many people profess it is? Well, I'm a tech, I help people use computers running that OS those people seem to hate so much. Windows sucks, it crashes, it confuses, it contains countless examples of frilly yet useless features, and this is a good thing. I owe my job to Microsoft. I don’t work for them but I am one individual in an army of techs that support Mr. Bill’s products. Without Bill, I would be an a truck driver or even (shudder) and accountant.

Think about it; how many people would be employed in the computer support industry if, say, Apple produced the standard desktop? How many authors would be producing “How to understand this stupid product” books? How many “iMac for dummies” books have you seen? Microsoft and Mr. Bill have created more jobs in the last 20 years than any other entity. This IS the master plan.

Look at any company that has bought into the MS world. They’re always looking for more support people. This usually happens after they've bought some fancy MS product that automates some corporate function; like, they get an accounting package that lets the “manager” do the payroll so they can fire a bunch of accountants. Of course, right after that, they have to hire a bunch of support staff to help the manager deal with the buggy software. This is the key: Automate the tasks, fire the useless people, and hire more techs. Eventually, there will only be “managers” and “techs.”

Another part of Mr. Bills master plan is hidden in the “techie” language. Ever wonder why computer jargon is so full of normal words, like “boot” with special meanings? This is so, when there are only a few managers and lots and lots of techs, Mr. Bill can start using words like “overthrow,” or “insurrection” and the mangers will think it’s just another technical term like “socket.” Then Mr. Bill’s army of techs will rise up to dispose of the manager types. It will be a world of techs: MS-Earth.

I eagerly await that day. The day when my benefactor, my hero, and my personal God – Mr. Bill – will command his armies into action. After all, when you're the richest man on earth, the only thing left is power.

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